I’ve never had a death in my family before, until now. Although they aren’t related to me, they are my other family.

I can’t even comprehend this right now.

I can’t believe Tumblr, of all Godforsaken social networking sites, has been blocked by the Florida School Board. And I can still get on Twitter on the public school server. Seriously? SERIOUSLY.

Thanks for preventing me from enjoying random nothings during business class. Now I just have to act like I really don’t have a lifeand tweet about nothing every five seconds.

>:(

I’m currently (trying) to write a research paper on the benefits and drawbacks of outsourcing in America and what I think about it. Honestly, I have no idea what to think about it. Yes, it sucks that millions of Americans, my parents included, have lost their jobs because A) The economy sucks, and B) Because many of these companies are moving to overseas markets where the labor is cheaper. Ever wonder who is acutally helping you out with your Macbook issues on those nifty little 1-800 numbers? Well, it’s not an American. Most likely they were from India or even Egypt.

Don’t get me wrong, I completely understand the business strategy behind outsourcing. From the business stand point, it makes complete sense. If my company had the opportunity to make more money by moving the business overseas, heck yes I’d do it!

And you know that all of the crap that’s sold in Wal-Mart is a result of outsourcing right?…. Oh, so you DIDN’T know that the only reason we pay those prices is because companies were able to make more of the product because it cost less to do so? Maybe you should check the labels on your clothes. Let’s compare American Apparel basic jersey zip-up hoodies to ones that look extremely similar and are sold at Target. Most likely the ones in Target were made in China. And if not China, maybe Indonesia or Cambodia. Regardless, it wasn’t made in the good ol’ US of A. Those Target hoodies are probably around $20 full price. Now, American Apparel hoodies… those are around $45, including tax, full priced. Why? They are made in America. As consumers we have to pay a portion of the cost of labor, employee benefits, tax, the cost of the material, and the cost of utilities for the company to make said products. Americans, thanks to the Labor Movement in the early 1900’s, demand benefits like health care, high hourly wages, compensation, dental, etc. WE have to pay for it.

I could go on and on about this argument, but that would be completely irrelevent. But I want to know, what does the average American think about outsourcing? What do people outside the US think of outsourced jobs? Is it really benefitial, or is it as horrible as we think it is?

My expectations for New Moon:

1. I’m going to love seeing Taylor Lautner shirtless
2. I’m not going to love seeing Robert Pattinson shirtless
3. Kristen Stewart will probably annoy me in this movie, again
4. Dakota Fanning is going to be the BEST Jane in the whole entire world!
5. I’m going to hate looking at the three old as heck Volturi guys because Aro (or Marcus… I don’t remember anymore) isn’t being played by Ben Barnes. That upsets me. I love the eye candy.
6. The rest of the werewolves are NOT hot.
7. I’m going to miss Alice during the period the Cullen’s are away.
8. I won’t miss Rosalie.
9. The whole movie plot will piss me off cause you know it’s not going to be like the book at all.

Rant over.

I think it’s insane how a person can write down their emotions in the form of lyrics. It’s something I wish I could learn how to do badly. But I think I would write really dark music most often, and it would all be about hating (or disliking) certain people or aspects of my life.

Paramore is one of my favorite bands. I know I jumped on the Riot! bandwagon, but I can say that the first song I ever heard of theirs was My Heart. But back then I listened to a lot of Justin Timberlake or anything that would piss off my brother (mainly stealing his Green Days CD’s and claiming my new found love for them), so I wasn’t really into the new pop-rock/alternative music. I did listen to Fall Out Boy, though not religiously like I ought of had. Maybe I would have like Paramore sooner. And maybe hated them after Riot!. Who knows.

I think this CD, Brand New Eyes, is probably the best music I have every heard lyrically and musically. Hayley really wrote her heart out in these songs; they’re powerful and full of raw emotion. In particular, Playing God, is one of the more harsh songs on the record. Harsh in a good, healing way. The best thing about lyrics is that it can be interpreted in many ways, so although the song is more about their stuggles as a band and with their friendship, you can relate it to any sort of relationship struggle. It’s just… amazing. I know they described it as their “growing up album” and I totally agree with that. It must have been hard to read Hayley’s words and know they’re about you and then hear them over and over again as you preform them infront of thousands of screaming fans who now know a huge portion of the band’s personal feelings. I can’t imagine how that must feel. I respect all of them so much for doing something like that. I know many musicians have, but it’s hard for all of them to do it. It’s hard enough for me to talk about my issues, let alone scream them for the world to hear.

Gosh Paramore, could you be more amazing? I don’t know.

And could I be more of a Parawhore?? I think not!

I’m confident in my stating that every high schools student around my age has to deal with life changing choices at the moment, and we are all fustrated with people telling us “No” or “You Can’t.”

If there’s one thing at the moment that I can not stand is the word “No” or anything negative of the sort. I know where I want to go to college, I know how I’m going to get there, and I know what I want to do as my career. Don’t go telling me that my choice of getting my Associate’s at a Florida university is “stupid.” Or that if I was able to get a full ride to a university in New York City I shouldn’t go. That’s such a waste! And don’t go around telling me where I should or shouldn’t apply to college based on my high school preformance. I know where I can get in, and I know where I can’t. (To the person who suggested these things, if you ever see this, maybe you should re-evaulate YOUR expectations based on YOUR preformances so far).

And to the other person who said my chosen major has no “shelf life,” maybe you should find yourself a new major too. The last time I checked, Graphic Design is probably the hardest field to actually obtain a decent living in. I think majoring in Music Business/Management and then minoring in Business has a plethora of job opportunities still available.

I know life is full of difficult choices and everything’s a stuggle. My whole life’s been one huge struggle for me in so many ways. I hate even thinking about how half my family, including my own father, doesn’t even care about me. I hate thinking about the fact that I’m broke as hell, my parents have no job, and how lucky I am to be where I am today. I hate everyone who says they hate the high school I go to. I love it. I love every opportunity it’s given me. I could still be at Coconut Creek High School, sleeping in all my classes and passing with straight A’s, never learning a thing. But no, I chose to leave all my friends behind and go to a school where I knew maybe three or four people and had not one class with them so I could actually learn. Now I know how to write essays, I know how to do algebra, I know how to study, and I’m prepared for college. I don’t ever try to take these things for granted becuase I know what it’s like not to have them. I don’t take my mother or the rest of my family or money for granted becuase I know what it’s like to have it one day and the next day not have it at all.

Life is full of choices. Some days you make the wrong ones. Some days you learn to make the right ones. Just make sure you know where you’re going, and don’t let anyone stop you.